Kevin Mirallas transfer rumours debunked

Everton fans had a moment yesterday when they were about to announce a knighthood, maybe even a sainthood, for Director of Football Marcel Brands.

The occasion? Apparently we were close to getting rid of Kevin Mirallas. Not only that, but we were about to get paid for him too!

It was only a pittance mind you of £1.3 million, but when a plate of mostly-eaten halftime oranges and a sack of footballs is considered an apt remuneration for getting rid of a player, even a cool million is a win-win.

Dutch outlet Voetball 24 reported earlier in the day that Belgian side Standard Liege were all hot and bothered by the thought of bringing Mirallas back to the club where it all began. They even quoted that manager and legendary Belgian goalkeeper Michel Preud’homme was excited for his return and was making plans on where to utilize the soon-to-be 32-year-old.

However, unfortunately for Everton fans, despite rumoured interest from Belgian sides Royal Antwerp, Anderlecht, Club Brugge and Liege, it appears Kevin Mirallas and his £75,000/week wages are going nowhere anytime soon.

Mirallas made an utter nuisance of himself out on loan to Olympiacos two seasons ago making lewd gestures at fans and leading a revolt against club ownership, and then despite being surrounded by a bevy of young forwards at Fiorentina, somehow contrived to only score twice and pick up three assists in 30(!) appearances.

Oh well, one more year out on loan somewhere and then his contract is done at the end of this coming season, bringing to an end a long drawn-out bitter farewell to a player who could have been a legend at Everton if he was even half-interested.