Everton 0-1 Leicester City: Hungover

Have you ever gone out with your friends on a weekend or over the holidays - maybe even New Year’s Eve - and drank enough that when you woke up the next morning, it was unclear if you had sobered up yet?

You rub your eyes, fall out of bed, and stumble to the bathroom looking for answers. Things are foggy, and your brain is a pile of goo. There’s a twinge of a headache, and you’re thirsty, but you steady yourself and think hey, this isn’t that bad. Lets get the day going and oh no my toe how did I stub that there WOW I’m really hungry this isn’t good and wait, where is my shirt?

That was Everton on New Year’s Day. The Blues came out of the gate against Leicester City fairly uncertain of themselves. They gathered steam towards the end of the first half, and it was looking like they might take a foothold that would allow for big things in the second frame.

Wrong. One misplayed touch from Michael Keane later and Jamie Vardy was in on goal while Everton were hanging over the toilet thinking about every choice they’ve ever made in their lives.

The rest of the match was one long attempt to get make it someplace where the Blues could find some greasy, nourishing food. Instead, they only ended up back in bed, full of regret and self-loathing.

Pass the Gatorade, because it might get worse before it gets better.