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Toffees Mailbag: Pienaar retires, Klaassen sits and Big Sam just exists

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Answering all of your relevant, and irreverent, Everton questions.

You guys have been amazing.

In spite of Everton stumbling through the season like a an inebriated co worker at an office party, YOU, the fans, have continued to support (and critique) the Toffees’ efforts.

With the season coming to a whimpering end (hopefully) you wonderful Blues have stuck with the Mailbag through thick and thin.

Hopefully the end of this season will bring a brighter, clearer picture of the future.

Until then, though, stay strong and have faith things will get better!

(They can’t get worse!)

(They could, but you know what I mean)

By the way, speaking of this abysmal campaign, make sure you check out a year’s worth of Mailbag Memes in case you missed it last week!

Now, let’s get into everything Everton related!


I don’t think he is alone.

I may have initially tuned in to see Tim Howard, but I stayed for the Baines/Pienaar (Bainaar!) combo.

Thanks for the memories.


When our owner decides what his vision of the future of the club actually looks like.

When the people in charge of football/soccer (and non-football/soccer) related decisions realize they are in over their heads.

When Sam Allardyce is gone.

When the club decides to be patient and let young players like Ademola Lookman grow IN the team, not outside of it.

When Everton realize the climb up the table is exactly that, a climb, not a sprint.

When being NOT BAD is no longer considered acceptable.

When Big Sam is gone.

When Everton decide to actually scout talent, as opposed to paying for it.

When everyone remembers what it truly means to be a Toffee.

Then we will move forward, and only then.


So let me get this straight.

You are upset Everton is finding minutes for over-aged players who were out over a year and who have no future at the club, while at the same time is unable to find minutes for a Dutch international who captained his team to a Europa League final?

For all of the crazy decisions Everton have made this season, (no, I won’t list them all), I would argue that NOTHING has been more atrocious, short-sighted, misguided, and frankly vindictive, then the Toffees treatment of Davy Klaassen.

For a player who started the first Premier League match of the season (and played well in a win), it’s almost unimaginable what has happened to Davy.

I would buy the whole ‘he’s too slight’ argument, except for the fact that Morgan Schneiderlin is a big guy but has the physical prowess of an ice skater on a football field.

Oh, and the Italian league leaders Napoli were chomping at the bit to get him. The game may be slower in Italy but it certainly doesn’t lack physicality.

With all of the bad games and blowouts the Toffees have suffered this year, it’s incomprehensible that neither David Unsworth or Sam Allardyce would give Davy a chance to show his talents and be allowed a run of games (even sub appearances!) to show how he could impact what is an otherwise dreadfully dismal team.

I can only hope the likes of Paulo Fonseca or Thomas Tuchel will have the tactical nuance to utilize a player of Klaassen’s unique (and proven) abilities.

If not, Everton are going to have a hard time convincing other high-level players that signing with the Toffees won’t be a death sentence for their careers.


I am of the belief that the entire point of life is to use the talents and passions we have to better the lives of those around us.

No one exemplifies this principle more than Speedo Mick.

What an example for everyone in life.


Here’s to hoping the squad shows up for the match!

Have a great time!


Hmmmmmm....what do Theo, Jags, Sam and Wayne have in common??

I don’t mean that as a slight to English players, but it has to be said that it seems the ONLY vocal supporters of Big Sam are players who have played for the Three Lions.

Why would that be though?

To be honest, I think when players grow up in a certain system (England) like these players did there is a natural tendency to view the game in a similar light.

The idea of working hard, limiting opportunities, and winning by taking one of the few chances you get is not exclusive to English players (or managers), however it IS more prevalent than in other places in the world.

So when you are Theo, Wayne, or Jags, men who have had unbelievably successful careers at the top level coming through a system, you are going to be inherently (unconsciously?) protective of those who come from similar backgrounds and view the game in a similar way.

That’s not to say those players are tactically limited, just that like much like a child with a parent, to point out Big Sam’s flaws may feel like an indictment of themselves.

Of course that is just a guess.

In reality?



At first I thought this was the line OUT of Goodison.....mid 2018 season.


TOFFEE TUNES

Arcade Fire

“The Suburbs”

Because there isn’t a band named “Dumpster Fire”