Everton need many things but Jamie Vardy is not one of them

I see a lot of bad Everton rumours, a lot of things that are just really dumb. But there is a spectrum of dumb. There’s dumb in a way that just is not worth interacting with, because it is too far fetched and ridiculous. Then there is the kind of dumb that Everton would actually do, but no one is going to be seriously happy about the prospect. Signing Eliaquim Mangala instead of an actual left back is a perfect example.

Finally, there’s the level of stupid that Everton would not only be willing to do, but some of the fans might actually think it is a good idea, and that is where the ‘Jamie Vardy to Everton’ chatter falls. Trust me, this is the worst kind of potential stupid.

Vardy is thirty one years old, under six feet tall, and mainly relies on his speed and that is why he’ll be on the plane with England to the World Cup. He scores a goal once every 181 minutes in the Premier League (7th best). His conversion rate is excellent, 27%, but in over 2500 minutes he has only managed 51 shots, which is a symptom of his speed not being what it once was. He only manages 1.8 shots per game, primarily because they come on the counter attack.

He is also surrounded by more speed at Leicester than he would be at Everton, and having that speed around him allows his team to get on the counter quickly, where he is most effective. Everton rarely runs effective counter attacks, certainly not with the precision and speed that the Fixes execute at, and it’ll take more than one guy to change that. Are we going to rework the whole roster for a 31-year-old Vardy? No.

Check out that radar above, this is not a player that does many things well. According to the Liverpool Echo, it’s Steve Walsh who wants this move especially because of his past connection with Leicester City. I’ve been very supportive of most of Walsh’s decisions, but if he wants Jamie Vardy, I’m out. He’s lost it.

More importantly. WE DO NOT NEED ANOTHER STRIKER. We have three, and it’s a very solid collection. Dominic Calvert Lewin’s movement and decision-making produce strong xG numbers, Oumar Niasse is a hard-running finishing machine, and Cenk Tosun is starting to show what we paid for when we brought him in from Turkey.

I’m not saying we are world class at the position, but given our needs elsewhere on the pitch, particularly in defense, buying Jamie Vardy with his age and our current squad composition would be a particular kind of stupid.