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Tottenham 4-0 Everton: Woof

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That went well.

Tottenham Hotspur v Everton - Premier League Photo by Catherine Ivill/Getty Images

Everton traveled down to Wembley with their new striker in tow, and on the heels of a decent performance in the derby. Neither of those things helped. Spurs were ruthless and efficient, easily seeing off the Blues by a 3-0 4-0 23-0 who bleepin’ cares scoreline.

  • He didn’t get much help, but new signing Cenk Tosun looks like he has something about him. The Turkish international showed good ability to hold the ball up, and is clearly far more clever on the ball than Dominic Calvert-Lewin (for now).
  • ...and that’s about where the bright spots ended. Individual defensive mistakes killed Everton at Wembley today.
  • Cuco Martina couldn’t decide between Serge Aurier and Son Heung-Min on Spurs’ opener. Jonjoe Kenny completely whiffed trying to close down Son on Spurs’ second, and Mason Holgate totally lost Harry Kane on the third. Other than that, how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln?
  • Yannick Bolasie probably needs to slow down his return. He’s brave, and more than willing, but it’s clear he does not yet have the pep in his step we saw before the torn ACL. Yala was a non-entity in attack, and through no fault of his own.
  • Wayne Rooney has not been the same since the illness that sidelined him for a few matches in December. If Allardyce is looking for a way to jump-start the attack, shifting Gylfi Sigurdsson into the middle of the park and utilizing Ademola Lookman or Nikola Vlasic on the left could be one way to start.
  • James McCarthy has been pretty good since he finally got back from his injury, but he cannot play in a midfield two with Idrissa Gueye. They’re too similar, and all of the onus in possession is on Rooney instead of sharing it with Morgan Schneiderlin.
  • Does anyone know who this team’s best 11 players are? Obviously, the list would include a healthy Leighton Baines and Seamus Coleman, and Jordan Pickford is a lock. Otherwise, things are a mess. Eight round pegs and eight square holes.

Everton might be bad, but West Bromwich Albion are worse. Sam Allardyce has got a week to fix this nonsense and defeat the Baggies.