Sunday’s game against Manchester United will pit the two main leaders of the zodiac signs against each other. Aquarius Jose Mourinho is an eccentric visionary. Aries Ronald Koeman is a natural born leader. One of them has Romelu Lukaku on their team and one of them does not.
In typical Aries form, Koeman is not warm and fuzzy but he is honest, not only with others but with himself. After Everton’s latest string of defeats, he apologized to fans and admitted that he needs to criticize himself. This week calls for him to shake things up and be more creative to try to do some damage control.
Mourinho will be Mourinho, no matter what. But with Mars synchronizing with Mercury the day before the game, don’t be surprised to see the mercurial manager even more Mourinho-y than usual.
Romelu Lukaku, in true Taurus fashion, left Everton for Champions League experience at Manchester United. The Red Devils currently sit at the top of the table while Everton is still figuring things out.
This game is going to be a tough one for the Toffees. So how should an Everton fan watch Sunday’s game, according to your horoscope?
Aries - You will rally up Everton fans and host a watching party at your local bar. Never give up!
Taurus - You will watch this game while snuggling a pet or significant other while simultaneously setting up your fantasy football team and shopping online.
Gemini - You will talk through the whole darn game & be the first to make jokes, which will gets lots of laughs. Humor is the best medicine!
Cancer - You will watch this with your family. During half-time, your loved ones will confide in you all of their feelings about this season and you will try to comfort them.
Leo - You will provide very popular live video reactions on your YouTube channel and miss a lot of the game.
Virgo - You will watch the game secretly while you are at your job and somehow not miss a single second.
Libra - You can manage to watch the game with a Manchester United fan and still remain friends afterwards.
Scorpio - You will watch this with a lover (or two) and make everyone happy regardless of what’s happening on the pitch.
Sagittarius - You will watch the game while running on the treadmill, reading a book, and planning your next vacation.
Capricorn - You are going to watch the game at Old Trafford in a private box that you scored through connections. You will ignore the Lukaku chants while networking with others.
Aquarius - You will have your own lineup in mind the whole time and will think about how you should be Everton’s next manager during your long hike after the game.
Pisces - You are going to watch the game for a few minutes and then turn it off after the first Lukaku goal.