Instant Reaction: What in the hell was that?

What occurred between Everton and Chelsea at Goodison Park was one of the weirdest and wildest games I've ever watched.

• Well, that's a 'wonderful' start. Cesc Fàbregas slices apart the Everton defense with a wonderful pass and Diego Costa beats Tim Howard. Good lord.
• ANOTHER FUCKING GOAL?!! Three minutes played and it's 2-0. Wow. This is awful. Doesn't help either that Branislav Ivanović was offside.
• Could someone please get the license plate of the giant yellow bus that just ran us over?
• 7' - Tim Howard gets a huge break after handling the ball outside the box. Should've been a red card.
• 8' - Everton on the break, options to the left and right and Kevin Mirallas kicks it right into a defender. Come on Kev
• Anyone else getting tired of Phil Jagielka's mistakes?
• Everton score but Sylvain Distin offside. It's just gonna be one of those days.
• The positive thing is that Everton are fighting back after the horrific start. No heads down, just playing hard and putting pressure on Chelsea.
• SUPER KEVIN MIRALLAS!!!! 2-1 just before the halftime break. Game on!
• 56' - Diego Costa's temper shows up, gotta exploit that.
• Great pressure, building pressure...terrible corner by Mirallas. Ugh.
• And everything positive that Everton has been doing evaporates as Eden Hazard centers a ball from the end line that deflects off Seamus Coleman and fools Tim Howard. Howard follows that up by losing his mind and going after Diego Costa. 'Great' sequence.
• STEVEN NAISMITH!!! GAME BACK ON!!!
• This game is bonkers.
• Everton's defense is terrible. 4-2 Chelsea. Nobody closes him down, Jags and Distin just stand there and let Matic dribble and dance in front of them. Pathetic.
• THIS GAME IS NOT REAL!!! SAMUEL ETO'O'O'O'O'O'O AND IT'S 4-3 CHELSEA! GAME BACK ON YET AGAIN!!
• NOW PLAY SOME FUCKING DEFENSE!!
• Nope. 5-3 Chelsea. This is the weirdest game I've seen in a long time.
• I really don't understand what is going on in this game. Both teams are so good on the attack and neither defense is handling it well. Jags and Distin are looking OLD today.
• How in the hell did Thibaut Courtois get a finger on that Mirallas shot? Oh yeah, he's the best goalkeeper in the world. That's why.
• I love love love Everton's desire and fight in this game. Despite the terrible defensive performance, I'm just not that demoralized by the result. If David Moyes was still the head coach, Everton would have lost 5-0 and rolled over and shown Chelsea their bellies after the awful start.
• More comical defending at Diego Costa makes it 6-3. Geez. It's like tennis.
• I just don't know anymore. 10 goals in three games. That's really bad.