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Swansea City v Everton: Live GameThread

Michael Steele - Getty Images

David Moyes (To a Everton's statistician and let's assume we have one): So how many people won at Liberty Stadium last year not including us?

Statistician: Two sir

Moyes turns to the team.

DM: OK guys, this is it. The big one.

Team: huh?

DM: We NEED to win this one. The most important match of the season. They think they can just beat whoever they want at their home? How dare they. We proved them wrong last year and we'll prove them wrong again this year? Who do they think they are?

Team (In robot groan): Yes

DM: We WILL defeat this club and we will take back our honor. I want you to fight as hard you have ever fought!

Team: YES!

DM: Now, let's go destroy them!!

Statistician to the janitor (as an aside): Why does he always give out big speeches when we play against tough opponents or tough venues and just grunt when we play others that we are supposed to win?

The old wise Janitor (In a whisper): You don't know.... The legend of.... Dr. Moyes and Mr. Hyde....

To be continued...

Match lineups closer to match time.

As always, comment below!