As I browsed through my twitter feed today (@DarrenMelling) I noticed that Adidas, boot supplier to
Stoke Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard were inviting followers to ask him some questions. Naturally plenty of blues siezed the opportunity to #AskStevieG. Here are a selection of questions which made me laugh. These are all genuine!
Ji Sung Park asked: "Would you like photocopy of my Premiership winners medals?
"Ryan Giggs' wife divorced him and took half of everything he owned. How does it feel knowing she has 6 more Premier League medals than you?"
"How does it feel knowing that (insert random member of the public's name) has the same amount of Premier League winners medals as you?"
"Hi Steve. How do you feel knowing Dion Dublin and Lenny Pidgeley have won the Premier League more times than you have?"
"Steve, does JonJo Shelvey bring his wand to training?"
"If you could have a forehead, who's would you pick? Joleon Lescott's?"
"Steve, how did Suarez score that goal against Newcastle? Was it from a long ball?"
"How have you managed to carry a Liverpool team for ten years?"
"Is it true you put in a transfer request to force through a move to Stoke City?"
"Steve, will next year be your year?"
"Steve, are you going to wear a "Support Mark Clattenberg" t-shirt before your next game?"
"Steve, does JonJo Shelvey take up all the car park at Melwood when he arrives in his Space Ship?"
"Who would win a foot race - Jamie Carragher or the erosion of the UK Coastline?"
"Do you think if you spent more time chasing the ball instead of the ref you might have won the league by now?"
"Steve, remember when you were better than Frank Lampard? No, me neither..."
"Having once played alongside Alonso, Torres and Mascherano, how does it feel to now be playing alongside Shelvey, Borini and Downing?"
"How proud of your fantastic home record this season are you? #Fortress"
"Which defeat has been hardest to take? Its ok, you can email me, 140 characters is a bit limted..."
"How did it feel to see Liverpool fans set fire to your shirt before your proposed move to Chelsea?"
"Do you have a special skin comb you use to maintain the stupid creases above your eyes or is that natural?"
"Is the baby yours?"
"On a scale of JonJo Shelvey to Jordan Henderson, how bad is Stewart Downing?"
"Is the corner Liverpool are supposedly turning a big roundabout?"
"Do you still believe Joe Cole is better than Lionel Messi?"
"Before filming Being Liverpool, did Brendan Rodgers watch David Brent in The Office on repeat?"
"At least at Liverpool you can now concentrate on the Champions Leag.... The Premier Leag....your family"
"Is it awkward around your house on Pancake Day?"
"Not a question, just a fact. You've misplaced more passes in the opposition half than any other player in the League. All fart and no sh*t"
"Is playing for Liverpool about as much fun as sh*tting yourself in a sleeping bag?"
"On a scale of 1 to tit, how much of a tit did you feel when you realised you had ran and slid 80 yards for f*ck all?"
"Which of the Everton kits you got for Christmas was your favourite?"
"Since you bottled your move to Chelsea, they've won the Champions League, 2 Premier League titles and 4 FA Cups. You must be delighted with that choice?"
"What is it like knowing Luke Chadwick has more Premier League medals than you?"
"Are you hoping Tranmere Rovers maintain their good form and get promoted so you still get a derby next season?"
"What's it like to referee a Derby?"
"Do you ever want to break into Brendan's office and peek inside them three envelopes?"
"When your kids grow up do they want their dad's name on the back of their shirt? I wonder if Everton still have the "Yobo" template in the shop."
"Can you grate cheese with your frown?"
Really cheered me up today reading all of these. If you have your own question you would ask Stevie G, comment below!