Journalist: How many points do you think is a reasonable estimate for the remaining fixtures this season?
David Moyes: I think it's a little early for that, right?
DM: 28 points
Journalist: Wait, 28 points from 28 remaining fixtures?
DM: Yes, I'm hoping for draws against everyone.
Journalist: You're content with just draws in every match?
DM: Absolutely! Do you know how good the bottom of the Premier League is! It's the strongest league in the world!
Journalist: But what about Champions League aspirations?
DM: We don't have money for that
Journalist: But you're sitting at 4th right now and that's with a couple of injuries so far
DM: Sshhhh, stop brainwashing the fans to think we can make the CL. We need to keep expectations down. Have you not noticed. We only overachieve when expectations are low. When they are high we vastly underachieve.
Journalist: So what is your expectation?
DM: Not getting relegated
Journalist: So what do you do in training with all this talent then?
DM: Have you ever heard the Kendrick Lamar song "Swimming Pools"?
Journalist: No, why?
DM: That song is about me. I'm not even sober right now. I'll show you how to turn it up a notch
Everton Starting XI: Howard, Coleman, Heitinga, Jagielka, Baines, Mirallas, Pienaar, Osman, Neville, Fellaini, Jelavic
Subs: Mucha, Oviedo, Naismith, Distin, Hitzlsperger, Gueye, Vellios
Sunderland Starting XI: Mignolet, Gardner, Rose, Cuellar, O'Shea, Larsson, Colback, McClean, Johnson, Sessegnon, Fletcher
Subs: Wickham, Kilgallon, Vaughan, Bramble, McFadden, Saha, Westwood
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